i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
