Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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