You really coming over, don't trick.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
