just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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