We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
