i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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