the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I skipped work to stalk him.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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