Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
