My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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