Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
