why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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