you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
