i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
