I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
