i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Watching her eat just hurts me
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
