It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
