did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
