im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize