Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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