Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
