Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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