just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
