please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
