The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
