accomplished twins. life is a go
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They took my balls.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
