a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
