hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
