The maid of honor just puked.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
