Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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