The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
