There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
