You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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