oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
