you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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