Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
