I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
