i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
