Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There r osticjed everywhere
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
