when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
