Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
