i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
