My hand turned me down
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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