is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
