Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
