I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
