How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The uberlube is also flammable
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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