I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize