His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
