Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
