so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
