I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize