im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
