Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
