i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
