do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
