ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
