LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize