I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
