you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
