Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
