you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
