I hate all girls vehemently.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I could fuck to npr.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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