whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
